I’ve been reading the first few chapters of Margaret Feinberg’s “Wonderstruck” over the past few weeks, and there is a passage in one of the chapters that has stuck out to me more than the rest of them have.
I felt the iron weight of the pause as I grasped for the perfect way to express what I desired from God. I took a deep breath and plunged. “This sounds strange,” I apologized, “but I’m praying for pixie dust.” I might as well have vacuumed all the air out of the room. While a few stared uncomfortably at me, more than a dozen eyes darted back and forth in an almost unanimous expression: what have we gotten ourselves into? I kept talking. “More than anything, what I long for is our God, the One who bedazzled the heavens and razzle-dazzled the earth, to meet us in such a way during our time in Scotland that we find ourselves awestruck by his goodness and generosity, his provision and presence. I’m praying for pixie dust. I want to leave here with a sense of wonderment as we encounter and experience things only God can do.”
I’ve been in a place where I’ve been angry with God about a multitude of things. Angry seems a bit strong of a word… I’ve been frustrated. Things have gone wrong. Prayers have gone unanswered. So I’ve found myself in a place of ambivalence with God. I still believe in Him, I know He’s real, and I love Him, but I’m not subscribed to the rituals of Bible reading, church going, and generally spending time with him. I figured, if he wasn’t going to meet me halfway, I wasn’t going to visit him at all. I was in a place where I continued to believe that there was some secret formula/action I needed to complete for Him to love me and value me like other, better, Christians (I still struggle with this).
These chapters in Margaret’s new book have really given me a new way of looking at the whole relationship that God and I have. I want to be wonderstruck. It’s because of this want that I’ve since taken to praying for pixie dust. I want to be amazed at God’s creation. I want to know that I matter, that he sees me, and that I’m loved. I don’t want the distanced relationship of the past; I’m in the pews and He’s in the sky. I want the awe and wonder of knowing the creator of the universe loves ME, and that there’s nothing I can do to change that.
I can’t wait for Margaret’s book to finally be released later this month. Here’s some more information about it and ways you can get involved/earn prizes for pre-ordering!
Follow Margaret’s snarky, funny, and inspirational posts on Twitter, Facebook, or her blog. You can learn more about this great book by visiting www.margaretfeinberg.com/wonderstruck where she’s offering some crazy promos right now with up to $300 of free stuff. I’ve seen the book for as low as $7.57 ($14.99 retail) on Barnes & Noble for all you savvy shoppers.